Scientists find solution to Global Warming

You know scientists have gone mad when they start suggesting we stop eating meat in order to prevent global warming - sorry guys but that just ain't going to happen. Nor are people going to cut carbon emissions in any meaningful way unless forced to do so.

Fortunately there is a very simple solution to Global Warming and, as a bi-product, most other social ills - just reduce the population. A cut of 60% -70% would do nicely. Just think - no global warming, lower unemployment, less crowded cities and roads, plenty of parking space.... Sounds like win-win to me. Before people start jumping up and down I'm talking about lowering birth rates not encouraging euthanasia or anything more drastic - however appealing!

Jenson right on the Button

It just goes to show that dreams can come true and that truth can be stranger than fiction! Who would ever have thought that a team apparently on the way out of the sport would find themselves challenging for F1 glory never mind actually winning both championships. Jenson's superb drive in Brazil hopefully answered many of his critics. He might have screwed up in qualifying but his race overtaking was just sublime. I think the overtaking group may be heading in the right direction when they say that overtaking opportunities might be improved by tweaking the tracks. So, can we go back to Brands Hatch - please?

As to poor old Rubens - what does he have to do to finish well in Brazil? Pole to nowhere on Sunday after a puncture caused by a rash Hamilton move. No surprise there, then.

So, well done Jenson and Ross. Mr Brawn really is the man -having guided World Champions at Benetton, Ferrari and now Brawn. Let's hope Ross and Jenson settle the money question pretty soon now. Looks like being a special year next year if Ferrari and McLaren get their acts back together. Can't wait!

Budapest leaves us Hungary for more

First off, I'd like to join all those wishing Felipe Massa a full and speedy recovery. It will be a shame if such a freak accident ends his F1 career. But it does beg the question as to who will drive the second Ferrari for the rest of the season. Schumacher, anyone?

But Mclaren's amazing recovery and Brawn's backward step really have thrown a new twist into a season that looked like it was going to come to a premature end. But Button is still in the driving seat. If Webber was to win all the remaining races his final point tally would be 121.5 leaving Button needing 52 points to gain from 7 races - an average of 7.5 points a race. If Hamilton won all the races, Button would need just 20 points or 3 pts a race. However the chances are that races will be split between Mclaren, Red Bull and Brawn - and who would bet against Ferrari sneaking a win? So, the championship to Button provided Brawn can continue to score mid range points at most races.

Another surprise on Sunday was the fine debut of Jaime Alguersuari. It looked like he might have tired in the second half of the race, but he certainly aquitted himself well to finish ahead of Buemi. So much for the hissy fits from many of the established drivers! If you're good enough you're old enough. For a long time he was keeping up with Fisichella. Just checked the fastest laps and his best was 16th out of 18 drivers. Yet another young gun to keep an eye on.

Fevered brows in garages and labs throughout the F1 world. What a shame we have to wait four weeks for the next race.

Webbered

It was great news to see Mark Webber win a grand prix at last. Some drivers just seem to be born unlucky - both Webber and Barichello seem to have suffered an excessive amount of bad luck through the years. But at least Rubens had the good fortune to be in a Ferrari! Anyway, Mark drove his socks off on Sunday and even made team mate Vettel seem ordinary. He could even afford time to take a slow run through the pit lane to wave at his engineers. Just think what he would have done if he hadn't gently nudged Barichello on the run down to turn one!

And then we have Rubens - talk about throwing your toys out of the pram. He really needs to learn to engage brain before mouth. I expect he is back home feeling pretty shamefaced today. As Ross Brawn pointed out, Rubens was only 11th fastest at best! Something makes me think this will be his last season in F1. Webber, on the other hand has probably bought himself a few more years courtsey of his drive. C'est la vie.

The EBAY Postal Menace

The rise of the small Ebay business, whilst no doubt good for the entrepreneur, is a right pain in the ass for anyone who has to queue behind them in the post office. Traditional businesses will have proper arrangements for dealing with their post. They don't just turn up at the post office at lunchtime with a sack and then dominate the counter for the next quarter of an hour as they pull package after package from their bag. Each parcel having to be weighed and receipted - meanwhile a busy office worker looking to post a single letter during their short lunchtime is left fuming. I can see Ebay rage developing if this menace continues to grow.

Why can't the Post Office set aside a quieter time of day for these pests? Either that, or develop a faster weight and quantity based system. They could weigh all the parcels at once and come up with an average weight and price. Or simply charge by weight for the whole batch. Grrr... It can't be that hard.

Of course, I could just be developing into a grumpy old man.

All bow to Valentino Rossi

That last bend move on Jorge Lorenzo in Catalunya was awesome - up there with the very best overtaking moves in motorsport. And after the race he was talking as if he had already thought about having to overtake in that way!

Now why can't they get F1 cars to overtake like that?

I know - it's all down to physics etc but it's a real pity. I suspect that the only reason there was more overtaking in F1 in the distant past was down to there being bigger differences in cars and driver ability. And there was a greater chance of a driver making an error. Bring back manual gear boxes and clutches.

Another Rossi was in the news last night - Giuseppe Rossi helped Italy to a 3-1 win over the USA scoring a cracking goal from outside the box. It must be something in the name - I don't know a bad Rossi. Quo's Francis Rossi has been a hero since the early 1970's and Rossi's ice cream since I was a kid!

Anyway, well done Il Dottore - we salute you!

Button top of the class

It's nearly half term and the drivers are lined up outside the head's study. How do you rate their performances so far? Here's my view on each driver:

Jenson Button. Top of the class. How did we ever doubt him?
Rubens Barichello. Rumbled by his brighter class mate. May soon be time to leave.
Sebastian Vettel. Stunning season. Could be next in line for the throne.
Mark Webber. Showing well in a good car at last. Under pressure from Vettel.
Jarno Trulli. A solid season from a very good veteran.
Timo Glock. Disappointing in this year's car. Should be showing Trulli the way home
Nico Rosberg. Making the best of a car that only flatters in qualifying.
Felipe Massa. Keeping his head down and waiting for the Ferrari to improve.
Fernando Alonso. Teachers pet. Driving well whilst waiting for a faster car elsewhere.
Kimi Raikkonen. Must try harder. Does anyone know if he’s really bothered?
Lewis Hamilton. Welcome to the real world. Still a good driver. Showing some respect now.
Nick Heidfeld. Mr Reliable making the best of a slow car.
Heikki Kovalainen. Can’t get his head round driving a crap car
Sebastien Buemi. Bright first season but needs to cut out the silly mistakes.
Robert Kubica. Must concentrate .What a difference a year makes. Finding it hard to grin and bear.
Sebastien Bourdais. Shocked by Buemi. Not good enough for a Champ Car winner.
Giancarlo Fisichella. Wringing the neck of the Force India. Very creditable.
Adrian Sutil. Another young gun for hire. In the queue for a top drive.
Nelson Picquet jnr. Class joker. I’d really like to see Nelson’s boy do well – but it ain’t happening.
Kazuki Nakajima. Kamikaze driver with plenty of ability. Cut the mistakes and could be good.

Vettel and Button to race for Ferrari

It was great to see Jenson Button winning in Turkey but this season is beginning to confuse the hell out of me! As a lifelong Ferrari fan I would love to see the boys in the red cars win races but they don’t seem very interested - but then I’ve also been dead impressed by Sebastian Vettel and Sebastien Buemi. It’s getting so I don’t know who to follow anymore and then there’s KERS or is that CURSE! Even commentary god Martin Brundle doesn’t know what to make of it. What’s clear is that it doesn’t seem to make Ferraris run very quickly and therefore all most certainly a bad thing. Only one thing to do – throw KERS out and install Button and Vettel in the Ferrari.

Britain Quits the EU

Oh, I wish! I am still embarrassed that I voted in favour of joining the EEC back in the 1970’s. But we were lied to. I can’t believe we’d ever have joined if people had known that we were heading for political union.

The real question is what do we get for our membership? It might be easier to first look at what membership could bring. Benefits could reasonably expect to fall into three broad categories: Economic, Political and Military(Security).

I know the following arguments have been simplified but if I’ve got it grossly wrong I’d love to know!

Do we get any real economic benefits from membership? We’re a significant economic contributor to the region so it doesn’t look like it. The Spanish will reasonably have a different view.

Would countries/companies/individuals stop buying our goods if we weren’t members? Don’t be daft. People in the EU happily buy Japanese and Chinese goods. Never mind cuckoo clocks from Switzerland. Can we buy stuff cheaper from the EU because we are members – I don’t think so. So, no real economic benefits then.

What about Military? Do you feel any safer knowing that the French are on our side? And the Germans? They are supposedly helping in Afghanistan but won’t fight! And who are our enemies, anyway? The Russians are no longer a major threat – and if they were, we’d still need help from the Americans!

The most likely threat to us as a country probably comes from Argentina - especially as we’ve barely got a fishing fleet now– never mind a navy! Can you see the EU helping us if the Argentinians decide to have another go at the Falklands? Yeah, right!

So that leaves political benefits. I’m not sure I can even be bothered to argue this one. Is there anything remotely good about letting a group other than our own government set the laws by which we live – even if our current lot are particularly bad at it!

And does anyone else round the world care if Europe speaks with one voice? The Americans – the Chinese? I shouldn’t think they give a monkeys about what we are up to.

So did I vote for a Pro EU party – well what do you think!

Formula One to lose Ferrari?

Not yet at any rate. News is just in that Ferrari have signed up for next season albeit with conditions. But, it looks like the argument over budget capping is going to rumble on for a while yet. Anyway, whatever budget cap is imposed I can't see how it can be very effectively policed. It will always be possible to hide the financing of development somewhere. Perhaps the best we can all hope for is that the big teams agree to help the introduction of new blood. After all the more teams they beat the better they look! Or is that why they're worried?